their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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