At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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