it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
