Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
