like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
