FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
they call him Oral-B. enough said
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
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