So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
