Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
