you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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