never play flip cup with pint glasses
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
