I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
