I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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