I cannot find my penis.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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