I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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