I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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