Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
