thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
