I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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