I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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