the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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