The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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