There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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