The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
