imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
