And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
