The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize