you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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