Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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