We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
