I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
