You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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