im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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