Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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