why didn't you poke me back
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
