I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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