like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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