Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
