I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize