she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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