my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
