i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
