You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
