Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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