i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
