My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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