you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
