i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
