It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
