have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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