We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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